Non-profit struggles to find mentors to help teens who wait years for matches

Posted on October 6, 2024 by Peggy

Wilyem Blampied waited years to connect with his Big Brother Ajay Dhindsa.

His mom signed him up for Big Brothers Big Sisters Westman a couple of years ago, and the wait was so long he almost forgot, Wilyem said.

In February, after years of waiting, Wilyem’s life changed when he met Dhindsa.

The two quickly bonded over a love of magic tricks, hiking and video games. Wilyem, 13, says he now has someone he trusts with whom he can talk about important stuff like nutrition, his friends and his family.

Dhindsa, 23, is helping Wilyem navigate life while making him feel better when he has a bad day.

“He just tells me to try my best, and my best is the best I can do,” Wilyem said. “I’m glad he’s my Big Brother.”

Wilyem and Dhindsa are one of six matches through Big Brothers Big Sisters Westman, which is based in Brandon.

Tracy Williams, the organization’s executive director, says some youth may be waiting years to get the same opportunity as Wilyem, because there’s a waitlist of 30 youth.

The long waitlist is not unique to Brandon, she said.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Plains, based in Portage la Prairie, has a shortage of mentors, with only three community matches currently running, and the Pembina Valley organization, based in Winkler, has a waitlist of more than 10 children.

In the Pembina Valley, an area that includes Winkler, Morden, Altona and Carman, efforts are focused on maintaining mentoring services as they try to recruit more volunteers, executive director Jenelle Neufeld said.

Many youth in Pembina Valley deal with issues like poverty, gendered violence and discrimination and need a connection with a mentor, she said.

Building relationships

“They have trauma. They have risk factors for mental health, school issues, identity challenges, and the prolonged adverse childhood experiences can really take their toll over time,” Neufeld said.

“We find that the mentoring relationships … it’s one of those things where this is a preventative measure before the kids get to a point where they are in crisis.”

If youth have someone they can depend on who is consistent, it’s a major factor in their overall well-being, Neufeld said.

Wilyem’s mom Dawn Blampied says organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters are essential for families like hers. Blampied juggles being a single mom with work and recently completed school.

It was important for Wilyem to have other positive influences in his life, she said.

In Dhindsa, her son has a person to look up to or to ask questions he may not be comfortable asking her, Blampied said. She can also bounce ideas off Dhindsa and work with him to ensure they’re doing everything they can to make her son’s life better.

Recently, Wilyem had some strong teenage emotions and frustrations and took it out in the wrong way, she said. Blampied didn’t know the best way to help him and ended up teaming up with Dhindsa to set Wilyem on the right track.

“I know that he has Wilyem’s best interests and … he’s willing to work towards, you know, similar goals,” Blampied said. “He’s like part of the family now.”

Dhindsa moved to the area from India in 2021. He had no family in Brandon but now feels like he has a little brother in Brandon in Wilyem.

He sees being a mentor as an opportunity to be a positive influence in someone’s life.

He and Wilyem typically meet up once or twice a week for fun activities like going to the arcade. Other times, they’ll do chores, like cleaning.

Dhindsda said he can pass on life advice to his little brother so Wilyem doesn’t make the same mistakes he did growing up.

A woman sits at a desk. — Big Brothers Big Sisters Westman executive director Tracy Williams says they need more mentors to help lower a growing waitlist of mentees. (Chelsea Kemp/CBC)

He also tells his friends about the adventures he and Wilyem go on and how much he enjoys being a mentor, Dhindsda said. The stories inspired at least two friends to sign up with the organization.

Williams says Big Brothers Big Sisters Westman needs more mentors like Dhindsda.

It only takes about an hour a week to volunteer as a mentor. People can meet as much as they want, “as long as it’s a consistent, positive … relationship in that child’s life,” she said.

In a perfect world, Williams would build up a crew of 100 mentors at Big Brothers Big Sisters Westman. Having more mentors would let the non-profit work more in schools and expand coverage in Westman.

Each relationship is helping youth thrive in the community, she said.

“Empowering our youth, then that ensures the next generation becomes community-minded and don’t ever leave anybody behind,” Williams said.